Lycra louts?

I’m lying here, battered and bleeding. I haven’t been in a fight and I haven’t been dropped from a great height. All I did was walk into Barnstaple to do some last minute Christmas shopping, accompanied by my little frog friend who, thank goodness, was safely tucked away in my pocket.

It was my fault that I got injured, apparently: I’d decided to use the pavement! The pavement is probably the most dangerous place to be for pedestrians these days, some people say.

Yes, I was run over by a bicycle. I was injured by a so called, ‘Lycra lout’ who was belting, without a care in the world, along the footpath and who had, apparently, decided that he had the right-of-way. I didn’t realize this, because he crashed into me from the rear.

What is going on? Are pavements for pedestrians, or cyclists? Nobody seems to be sure anymore. I’ve been told that many cyclists are afraid of vehicular traffic and that is why they use the pavements. If that’s the case, shouldn’t we be doing more to ensure that cyclists are safe on the roads in and around our town? If we can achieve this, then it’ll be safer for pedestrians who use the pavements too. Bicycles are, in the eyes of the law, classed as carriages and should be on the road and not the pavement.

However, with this in mind, the Home Office has issued some guidance on how the introduction of a possible fixed penalty notice should be applied: ‘… it should only be used where a cyclist is riding in a manner that may endanger others: ‘Cycling Furiously’.’ The bloke that hit me was doing that, alright!
This new fixed penalty is not aimed at responsible cyclists who at times feel the need to use the pavement out of fear of traffic, and who show consideration to other pavement users. I believe a fixed penalty notice could cost an offender about £30.

Got that? Well, I’ve written a song based upon my sidewalk experience. Here it is:




Do The Barnstaple ‘Jump’.


There’s a brand new dance
that’s a-goin’ around.
They call it the Jump
and it’s grippin’ the town.
For those who can remember
what dancin’ at a rave meant:
the steps are similar,
but you do ’em on the pavement!

Yeah! The steps are similar,
but you do ’em on the pavement!


There are cyclists here
and there are cyclists there.
They’re burning up the sidewalks
and they don’t really care.
They run traffic lights;
ignore the one-way streets.
And they try to bowl you over
as they listen to their beats.

Yeah! They try to bowl you over
as they listen to their beats!


So, come on you people,
put on them dancin’ shoes.
Try and walk the High Street
without pickin’ up a bruise.
Spin to the left and spin to the right;
if you hear a Derailleur,
it’s far too late for flight!

Yeah. If you hear a Derailleur,
it’s far too late for flight!


There are cyclists here
and there are cyclists there.
They’re burning up the sidewalks
and they don’t really care.
They run traffic lights;
ignore the one-way streets.
And they try to bowl you over
as they listen to their beats.

Yeah! They try to bowl you over
as they listen to their beats!




Eccentrically.
Colin.
http://www.inclusifolk.com/
http://www.eccentricclub.co.uk/

Photos by: Linda Shaddick.